found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Everyone says I win the strip club
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
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