Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It's rum buckets o'clock
you made out with another girl for some wings
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
