let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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