i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
ok first of all what the fuck
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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