I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
