Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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