I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
