my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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