So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
