i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
