doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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