what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize