i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
