i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
