Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
