anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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