help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
