How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Randomize
