i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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