I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
