you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
