let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
