i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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