I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
