I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
