hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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