I think I am morally bankrupt
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
