I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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