Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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