You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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