what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
