someone get that fucking seahorse.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
