She said her name was "party"
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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