nut hugger
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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