..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize