I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
