Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
