No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
