WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
3 2 1 whiskey
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
