p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
