Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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