hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
