maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Randomize
