shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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