just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Dicks are not precious.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize