It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
