okay pat passed out under dana's car
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
