toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
