i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
