just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
