I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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