; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
