You're completely useless in the revolution.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
