dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
