The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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