WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize