UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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