that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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