The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
