then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
