I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
