Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
NoShamevember. You game?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Randomize
