I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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