Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
