so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
