My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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