Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
