Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
