He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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