operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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