If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
