I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
In other news, I just burned my penis
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
