smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
