just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
