she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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