do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I could fuck to npr.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
