The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
